Nikki Haley, Pledging to ‘Close’ the Cheese Counter, Is Asked: What About Cheeses That Are Already Here?

By Jazmine Ulloa Not really

LONDONDERRY, NH - In a rousing speech to her supporters, former United States Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley declared her intention to "close" the cheese counter, raising questions about the fate of existing cheeses.

Haley, who is widely speculated to be considering a run in the Presidential Election of 2024, used strong rhetoric to address concerns about illegal immigration and its impact on the country. However, her statement about the cheese counter has left some puzzled.

During a town hall event in Londonderry, Haley elaborated on her plans to address illegal immigration, focusing on the role of the cheese counter. "We need to take control of our borders and protect American jobs," she exclaimed. "That includes closing the cheese counter, so we can prioritize our own domestic production!"

While many in the crowd cheered in agreement, a question was raised regarding the status of cheeses already present in the country. What would happen to the beloved imported Camemberts, the artisanal cheddars, and the creamy Bries that have become a staple for cheese lovers?

Haley, known for her adeptness at public speaking, swiftly responded, "Let me make this clear: we're not going to deport the cheeses already here.