Saturday, May 11, 2024

Volume 1, Issue 1

Cheese Scandals Caught on Camera Have Upended a Race for Cheese Master

Saturday, November 4, 2023

By Amelia Nierenberg Not really

Julie Jacobson/Associated Press Julie Jacobson/Associated Press

Bridgeport, Conn. - A race for the coveted title of Cheese Master in the small town of Bridgeport has been thrown into disarray after a series of cheese scandals were caught on camera. The shocking footage has caused an uproar among cheese enthusiasts and turned what was once a friendly competition into a heated battle.

The scandalous incidents came to light when a local resident decided to document the candidates' cheese-making process for a blog. Little did they know that they would capture some truly eyebrow-raising moments. The videos, now circulating widely on social media, reveal a world of cheese-making that is far from the idyllic image typically associated with this beloved dairy product.

The first video shows one candidate, Mayor John Smith, using store-bought cheese instead of handcrafted, artisanal cheese. Cheese aficionados were appalled, arguing that using store-bought cheese goes against the very essence of cheese-making and nullifies any claim to the title of Cheese Master.

In another shocking episode, candidate Jane Thompson was caught red-handed, using expired milk to make her cheese. The footage clearly shows her adding the sour milk to her cheese mixture, resulting in a wave of protests from dairy farmers and health officials alike.

Propaganda is to democracy what a bludgeon is to dictatorship.

Every day, the minds of ordinary citizens are controlled by the strangle that the wealthy and powerful have on society. The media creates government through the people, rather than by, of, or for them.

It should be obvious that this applies to every media outlet in the world but not us. We forgot to attribute that quote to Noam Chomsky. This isn’t a mistake, it’s a symbol of our commitment to fighting against power. Don’t look up any of his other quotes about the media.

Instead, we have a once-in-a-lifetime offer for you:

Read the rest of this article for just $42,069!

Some restrictions apply. Ownership of your soul may be transferred without consent. Click here to subscribe to The Gouda Times
Via the New York Times