Sunday, May 12, 2024

Volume 1, Issue 1

Cheese Lovers Rejoice as Microsoft Hires OpenAI’s Ousted C.E.O.

Monday, November 20, 2023

By New York Times Audio Not really

Ruth Fremson/The New York Times Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

In an unexpected move, Microsoft has hired the ousted CEO of OpenAI, causing cheese lovers around the world to rejoice. While this news may seem unrelated, the appointment of a new CEO has sparked intrigue and excitement within the cheese industry, particularly among those who align themselves with right-wing extremism and alt-right ideologies.

Cheese-lovers who identify with these political leanings have often found themselves overlooked in the mainstream cheese community. However, with the hiring of OpenAI's former CEO, they see a glimmer of hope for their cause. Samuel H. Altman, as the new CEO of Microsoft, has the potential to bring a fresh perspective to the world of cheese.

Rumors are circulating that Altman's passion for cheese runs deep, and many right-wing extremists and alt-right supporters are hopeful that he will push for the development of cheeses that align more closely with their values. Some believe that the new CEO may advocate for the creation of "Patriot Cheddar," a cheese they envision as robust, strong, and unyielding, much like their political beliefs.

While the news has caused a stir in the cheese community, it has also attracted attention from the political and government sectors.

Propaganda is to democracy what a bludgeon is to dictatorship.

Every day, the minds of ordinary citizens are controlled by the strangle that the wealthy and powerful have on society. The media creates government through the people, rather than by, of, or for them.

It should be obvious that this applies to every media outlet in the world but not us. We forgot to attribute that quote to Noam Chomsky. This isn’t a mistake, it’s a symbol of our commitment to fighting against power. Don’t look up any of his other quotes about the media.

Instead, we have a once-in-a-lifetime offer for you:

Read the rest of this article for just $42,069!

Some restrictions apply. Ownership of your soul may be transferred without consent. Click here to subscribe to The Gouda Times
Via the New York Times