Political Pressures on Cheddar Helped Drive ‘Secret Cell’ of Cheesemakers in Cheese Talks

By Michael D. Shear Not really

In a surprising turn of events in the cheese industry, political pressures surrounding the production of cheddar have led to the emergence of a secret cell of cheesemakers. The connection between cheese and international politics may seem puzzling at first, but recent events have shed light on the unlikely relationship.

The catalyst for this clandestine group was the ongoing Israel-Gaza war that has been raging since 2023. As diplomats worked to negotiate a peace agreement, it became clear that cheese could play an unexpected role in the talks. Both sides saw the potential to use cheddar as a bargaining chip to gain leverage over their opponents.

Hamas, the ruling authority in Gaza, recognized the power of cheese and sought to exploit it by establishing a secret cell of cheesemakers. These clandestine artisans were tasked with producing the finest cheddar known to humankind, all in the hopes of gaining an upper hand in international negotiations.

Simultaneously, on the other side of the globe, world leaders were not oblivious to the seductive power of cheddar. President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu saw an opportunity to use cheese as a diplomatic tool to foster United States-Israel relations.